Wikinvest Wire

A trip to Costco

Thursday, August 27, 2009

This came in the mail the other day and it gave me quite a chuckle.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
For some reason this it reminds me of that story where a guy receiving unsolicited sales phone calls decides to turn the tables by telling the caller that he's a detective at a homicide and the caller is now a material witness (here's a link).



Jones said...

This came in the mail?

Tim said...

This came in the e-mail.

tomas said...

The piece you linked too is from Tom Mabe, the genius behind revenge on the tele-marketers. This piece aired on the Bob and Tom Show, which airs daily out of Indianapolis, Indiana from 5AM to 10AM central time. You can find more of his stuff at or, just type in tom mabe on Pretty good stuff Tim, thanks.

Anonymous said...

Good way to get your butt kicked, if you ask me.

Jason said...

Tim, I find it hard to believe that this member is not allowed to shop there any more just for being sarcastic. I have never heard of anything like that before....Story is hilarious nonetheless lol.

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