Tamiflu Futures To Trade at the Merc

Another anonymous tip and another story rushed to print...

After the overwhelmingly positive response to the recent announcement that they would begin trading housing-price futures next year, an anonymous source at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange has informed us that they are now planning to make the trading of Tamiflu futures available as well.


In fact, with more reports of housing having already peaked and with the news of H5N1 spreading in China, there is said to be a raging internal debate regarding which one to make available first.

Tamiflu futures, based on the median price for a ten count package of 75 mg capsules from reputable Canadian online pharmacies, are being made available to Tamiflu owners who seek to hedge the gains they have made since buying supplies of this anti-viral drug immediately after the Avian flu became front page news just a few months ago.

The futures market will also provide a way for investors, who may find themselves already priced out of the Tamiflu market or unable to obtain delivery, to participate in this emerging investment vehicle.

Soaring in price, Tamiflu has recently trounced all other investment alternatives with staggering gains in recent months as concern has mounted over a possible bird flu pandemic and short supplies of the drug.

While many online pharmacies claim to have Tamiflu in stock at reasonable prices, there appears to be a burgeoning industry in Tamiflu scams - only a few pharmacies are said to currently have the drug in stock, and prices there are very high.




ABC Online Pharmacy customer Anita Kalew said, "We bought 15 packages back in August just so we would have plenty on hand for our family and friends, since many of them were completely unaware of the Avian flu. Little did we know that it would quadruple in price in such a short time".

With the futures trading at the Merc, people like Anita will soon be able to buy put options for Tamiflu futures to lock in their gains, in the event that the drug is found to be ineffective against the mutating virus, or if a low cost vaccine is quickly developed.

Institutional investor Bobkatz Snootchiebootchies, said "We've recently placed many orders for Tamiflu at very low prices but have yet to receive our shipment. We have repeatedly sent mail to the site's webmasters, but get no response and there are no phone numbers listed. The Tamiflu futures will provide a way for us to get into this hot market".

While unusual, it won't be the most exotic contract offered by the world's largest futures exchange. That distinction belongs to the now famous "pimple futures", based on a select group of adolescents in the greater Chicago area who are monitored daily for acne and other dermatological developments.

The yearly selection process of the next pimple survey group is met with great fanfare and has become a huge local media event.