Ameriquest Can Really Help

Somehow these things keep showing up in the mail. It's starting to feel like companies and individuals are somehow finding our unlisted address and sending them here just so they'll get posted on the blog, knowing, but not caring, that unkind comments will accompany their publication.

Like a partial-confessional. Like when a guy who's cheating on his wife jokes to his pals, "What's wrong with playing around a little on the side?" Deep down, perhaps he is hoping that one of his buddies will ask him to elaborate on that remark so he can confess his sins.

And, maybe not.

Anyway, David at Ameriquest went to the trouble of attaching that yellow sticky note (personalized and very neatly hand-written it appears), so maybe it deserves at least a quick read-through, even though we don't own a home - this was all explained last week when Ms. Hernandez inquired about our housing status.

Click to enlarge

First of all, what's with the message on the yellow sticky note? Ameriquest can really help? What makes them think that someone here needs help? Do other homeowners need help? Is there some sort of homeowner crisis sweeping the land about which we, as renters, are unaware?

No-Stress Home Loans? Now it can be pieced together a bit - homeowners need help because they are stressed about something having to do with their mortgage. What could that be?

Wait, let's go back to that opening sentence, "You have accomplished something that most people only dream about - you own a home".

No. That's not how it works today. That's how it used to work.

You see homeownership used to be something that people would dream about - now they just do it. People used to dream while they scrimped and saved for a down payment, then they went in with their pay stubs and income tax returns and laid themselves bare before a lender who would scrutinize every item on their bank statements and credit reports.

Judgment would then be passed by prudent lenders with rigid repayment standards, wary of systemic risk, and in many cases, surprisingly, credit would be denied. Dreamy potential homeowners would walk away disappointed and dejected because their dreams had been quashed - there was just no way to make the numbers work.

Now, it seems there's no way to not make the numbers work. Now, buying a house is more like buying a car - sign on the dotted line and we'll get you financed. Somehow. Now, anyone can buy a house, so whatever dreaming does occur is short-lived - about six or eight weeks, however long escrow takes.

So, back to the loan offer in the flier - custom loans built for each homeowner, lower monthly payments, pay off credit card debt, extra cash, fast answers, skip a payment, buy a car. Wow - what a deal!

Maybe we ought to buy a house.

But what's with all the asterisks and that cross-symbol? Notes about consulting tax advisors and accountants about these loan products? And that note at the bottom which was originally on the backside of the flier, "Although the amount you pay on a monthly basis may go down, this loan may increase the overall number of monthly payments you have to make over the term of the loan".

That sounds complicated - that sounds like the stress is just being delayed not eliminated.

In fact the reverse side of the flier is chocked full of notes and qualifiers and caveats and warnings about these loans that appear so good on the front of the flier. It's as if you're bending over backwards to lend money, but at the same time your making sure your back is covered. Something's just not right here.

Maybe we'll just rent for a while longer - until banks aren't bending over backwards anymore.